Tulpa.info - tulpa-questions-2

I think you can import from pluralkit, but I've no recollection of how. It's in the bot channel though.

I’ve done that before

12:22 AM

that’s why I’ve got this here

12:22 AM

but Herbert is way too new to be included

12:25 AM

got it now

12:32 AM

anyway, Uh, Could you give an idea for a scenario for the thing you said?

what exactly is making this guy any different from an NPC

he makes decisions for himself He feels emotion Doesn’t that make him a headmate?

I'm not sure, honestly. An ideal circumstance would be something that both of you would actually behave differently on, I suppose? If they were switched in, piloting the body, and were unable to fall back on your experience, how would they respond to someone in need of cheering up? How would you, in retrospect?

if that was all was needed for us all of our characters would be considered tulpas

Those two things are quite low bars.

12:37 AM

A headmate is a thoughtform you've accepted as an coequal partner, more or less.

12:37 AM

All thoughtforms think and make decisions.

12:37 AM

Just sometimes in a bubble.

in a bubble?

Either "trapped" in a narrative or never permitted to actually interact with reality. Decisions that you make only in the context of a story, are still decisions.

I'm not sure, honestly. An ideal circumstance would be something that both of you would actually behave differently on, I suppose? If they were switched in, piloting the body, and were unable to fall back on your experience, how would they respond to someone in need of cheering up? How would you, in retrospect?

@Zen - jump

so, What could Herb do to prove his status as a headmate?

Prove? It's a decision, not an accolade.

12:39 AM

But honestly... do they want to be a headmate in that context?

12:39 AM

It sounds like they have no interest in living as a full human, and dealing with the resulting stuff.

12:40 AM

Which is fine.

I want to make people happy

Do you want to make your headmates happy by simply being as you are? Or do you want to make people generally happy? I would posit that being a cat in a human body doesn't make the majority of people happy, you need to exercise human empathy and speech for that. There's nothing wrong with choosing the former, again, though. (edited)

he seems to be a favorite in one of the servers I’m in. He’ll do things, and I’ll tell them about it, and it makes them happy And he offers pats and hugs to those that are unhappy

12:46 AM

probably unrelated but he also found one of Kira’s feathers in his void once-

12:46 AM

it looks like a purple tail feather from her

looks at Marissa and has a patting based Vietnam flashback

?

It's an in joke about the server's sordid past.

history lesson

12:49 AM

immediately

I’m too new here to know about that

same

Moving on, however, that doesn't really answer the question. Do you want to be more than you are and actually interact with reality as an equal headmate?

the others don’t front.

Curious. You said you specifically had tried though?

there were incentives, I tried to get him to try it out by surrounding myself with plushies, heh

12:53 AM

a break from front sounds like it would be nice.

12:53 AM

and I’ve got nobody to front

I don't experience a disconnect from the senses when my bois front, so I wouldn't really say it's a break.

Yeahh but I still want to-

It's more just a way of getting them to have space and time to think and do stuff.

Lun’s “waiting for the right moment”, I wouldn’t trust Sol.. and Kira’s missing, and last I checked had suddenly become afraid of fronting for no logical reason.

In a way that is very grounded in the real, and not in impulse, which can be erratic and subtly different.

12:56 AM

To be honest, now that I think on it, I don't think I would classify a tulpa as a headmate if they didn't front/want to front when able, but I probably would still call them a tulpa if they were an intentional life-long companion regardless.

how is that not a headmate?

12:57 AM

I thought tulpa was a type of headmate

To my thinking it's inherently not equal. They'll always be beholden to you. Though I would say that my opinions on that matter are not gospel or anything like that.

beholden?

They'll always be lesser than whoever's fronting. They won't grow by properly interacting with reality. They won't have to deal with real physical emotion in the way your body does. They simply won't have any responsibility or grounded role to play in deciding what the body and mind is doing.

I wish they would front-

1:02 AM

just, Nobody does…

1:03 AM

if it weren’t for discord they’d probably be completely isolated essentially

Why do you wish them to front, if they don't? Despite the hierarchy that exists there, I don't think it's a bad thing, to be clear.

it would give them more experience, like you said. They could actually live down kind of life or something

1:06 AM

live their own life*

1:06 AM

autocorrect is strange.

Is... that inherently a good thing?

wouldn’t it be a good thing?

I don't think that increasing complexity or interacting with reality helps every thoughtform.

Kira used to front

1:08 AM

until we got attacked by some anti endogenic server and then since then she seemed constantly afraid of messing up-

Let me put it this way: Before Rhys became my tulpa, he was a character in a very long story I wrote, roleplayed, and generally produced through a number of methods. Would you think his existence there was inherently lesser than his existence as my companion, because it wasn't real? In terms of his experience, that is.

I guess I’m not sure how to answer that-

For me, I didn't decide to make Rhys my tulpa/headmate because I wanted him to grow, arbitrarily (and he hasn't by the way, in the year and half he's been around), I just did it because I wanted him around and I loved him. And I knew that regardless of his previous existence, he enjoys my presence more than his fictional life, as well. There's no question those four months I wrote straight about him were all kinds of fun, horny, and tragic and everything in between. Those memories are extremely vivid in my mind. There is something to be said about growth and spending some time figuring out how you relate to the real world, and accepting responsibility, and making decisions for yourself. But at the same time, don't misunderstand that for being inherently better. Not every fantastical construct needs to be forced to work an eight hour job, in order to be valid as someone you keep around, you know? (edited)

1:17 AM

It's more than possible for hanging out with thoughtforms to just be a hobby, or part of some other activity, like writing.

1:18 AM

Having them transition to headmate is an extra layer of complexity that often doesn't need to exist, I'd say.

1:18 AM

But is compelling to some and in some situations.

their lack of fronting doesn’t change what I think of them-

1:19 AM

also when I try to get them to front, it’s always only for the things I know they enjoy

1:20 AM

I know Herb likes plushies And I know Kira likes pancakes And she used to like being active with the body and stuff, until it was overtaken by fear-

1:20 AM

fear that I still don’t know how to help her fix-

1:21 AM

I just, want them to give it a shot at least, I guess, So they can see if they like it That makes sense, right?

1:22 AM

and in the end if nobody likes it I guess I’ll just go without breaks-

1:24 AM

am I doing the wrong thing?

There's not really a wrong thing here. This depends heavily on your dynamics with them. I don't really have an answer for you based on how your relationship with them is. For me, I absolutely have these bois trust, and from time to time I do just tell them to do shit and they are doin' it, and I ain't takin' no sass. But that is earned and they trust my judgement. I am the spine of this system. Also I do not have any issue switching, at all, and can make them switch in if I really want to. I know others don't find manipulating tulpas easy, but I do. If you want headmates who front, though, and they don't want to, then there's not much that can be done if you're going to continue to respect their autonomy. Otherwise you could straight up just change their personalities to make them more pliable or make a new tulpa. At the end of the day it is their decision, up until those specific exceptions.

could you give me advice on how to help Kira out? For when she finally, hopefully, returns-

1:35 AM

just.. changing them sounds like a wrong thing to do.

It's a dramatic thing to do, and it won't work unless they aren't resisting you.

I actually never decided on the personality of anyone. They all developed it themselves

As for advice on fear, I wouldn't press this Kira into a fronting position. To be honest, I think that thinking too heavily on how to help them is the wrong way of thinking about it: I'm not even sure you can fix something like that with internal rationalization, and treating it like you can is often frustrating. Instead, focus on making them feel better. Real reassurance, showering them with feelings of love and comfort when they need it, that kind of thing. Be calm when they are not.

1:44 AM

Anywho, it late, time for sleeb. Feel free to ask other questions though if you have others. I will likely take a look later and respond.

1

I should go get stuff done and stuff like that too

When there are more tulpas in a system, everyone may feel a need to stand out in a stereotypical way. For example, the happy tulpa, the edgy tulpa, the hug tulpa, the flowers tulpa, etc. We had stereotypes we clung onto because our sense of identity was weak and this was an easy thing to hold onto. Personally, I was formerly both the child tulpa and the mind-palace tulpa. As both of my parts, I needed more life experiences to self-identify myself before I was ready to let go of my stereotypes and grow as an individual. Our presences are not particularly strong, but they do seem to become more stable with time. We develop a sense for someone's "vibe" essentially. Interestingly, Chrome and Blue used to have stronger presences, but they watered down a bit. Regardless, Gray and Ranger don't usually have a hard time telling us apart, unless we feel unstable for whatever reason.

Lun is the most stereotypical of all of us yet has the strongest vibe/presence/signature thingy

That doesn't surprise me. I personally believe a presence can just be a vibe, even if that vibe is a stereotype. If anything, the stereotype may help clarify it, making it stronger.

tulpa vibe

hi! how do i figure out if an imaginary friend is a tulpa? i’ve been told a few times that he probably isn’t an IF but i need to know for sure so i don’t rush into doing dumb things?

well, there's a lot of overlap between the two, I'm not sure there'd be a distinction. what's your imaginary friend like? IE, how do you communicate? can you see them? are they always there?

A long kiss goodnight

That doesn't surprise me. I personally believe a presence can just be a vibe, even if that vibe is a stereotype. If anything, the stereotype may help clarify it, making it stronger.

Stereovybe

Uroboros

well, there's a lot of overlap between the two, I'm not sure there'd be a distinction. what's your imaginary friend like? IE, how do you communicate? can you see them? are they always there?

well, usually we just talk he's usually there for most of the day. he watches comments on the things i do, but does go radio silent when i'm studying so I can focus and stuff I won't say I can see him but I usually imagine him in the physical world? think visualization or imposition but he's sort of transparent?

Sounds like a tulpa to me :)

4:06 AM

Did you create him intentionally?

uhhhh i mean it's kind of a half half thing?

4:07 AM

i originally intended for him to just be there and keep me accountable and focused in my studies but then eventually we started having more conversations outside of his original objective and stuff?? (edited)

Yup, sounds like a tulpa alright :) Welcome to the community!

uhh thank you

Hahaha

i'm kind of just overwhelmed right now, sorry haha i think this whole time i've been in denial about it